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|  | Gerald's Blog
« Thread Started on Jun 12, 2012, 9:19am » | |
Is anyone reading Gerald's blog on the official site? I get the feeling the answer is no since I haven't seen any discussion on it.
I'm sure I'm in the minority but I never got into the whole St. Cleve Chronicle thing. I never read the TAAB newspaper and I find the same true for the new one.
How about you? Do you enjoy that sort of thing?
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jtul07
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #1 on Jun 12, 2012, 9:59am » | |
![[image]](http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8361/geraldm.jpg "[image]")
May 28, 2012
Other Entries....June 5th
The Bostock Diaries
GB TAKES TO THE ROAD!
Latest news from the lyric writer of the original "Thick as a Brick"
Well - what a change of retirement job! I was going to write my novel. And then retire (properly) on the fat and disgraceful proceeds to the little apartment Felicity and I still have near Alicante. Next, in fact, to a little bar where they serve the most delightful Olive Fatiche Poufflé. You know - the two little mounds of mashed squid and potato with theprovocative nipple-like olives mounted proudly at their peaks. Steady, old friend. Lie down, Rover!
But that's another story.
I received a phone call yesterday from a friend of a friend, asking me to pack my bags and join the Ian Anderson Thick As A Brick tour in Germany, where they need a translator/tour manager to handle the hotels, flights, backstage catering and so on. Apparently, my left-over Army skills (I was stationed briefly near Frankfurt in a misguided career move during the mid-eighties) qualify me to be über-dogsbody (delightful contradiction) and "facilitator" in getting a rock band from A to B and onwards, gloriously, to C. Combined with my snake-like wriggles, political guile and verve, I should manage the odd border crossing and crazed flight attendant with ne'er a flinch or waver.
So, off on Sunday to join Mr A and his cronies in Berlin. Not sure whether to pack a suit and loafers or take that pair of Levis Felicity gave me for my fortieth and which I have never yet worn. Still have the price tag and the washing instructions on, in fact. I suppose wardrobe conformity is a lesser consideration in the context of required linguistic and cultural skills. If you can hold the floor with attacking precision and command at Prime Minister's Questions and make your point, fiercely, succinctly, avoid the wrath of Mr Speaker and settle back back afterwards for a quick snooze, you can handle most things in life, I would have thought.
They had considered asking ex-local priest Godfrey Pitcher but his occasional lack of tact and regrettable tendency to the more colourful adjective weighted heavily against. I, on the other hand, can bite several tongues and charm the flimsies off a transvestite traffic cop with a bad headache. Not the job for you, this time, Pitcher m'lad. Best leave it to oily, silky professional that I shall endeavour to be at all times.
More from the Front on Monday or Tuesday, perhaps, when I have settled in and found my berth on the tour bus. A Mr Downs has been charged with getting me quickly au fait with tour bus life and culture. I am told that my verging-onportly frame will find a lower bunk easier to negotiate. Being close to the lavatory is a more dubious asset as you have more nocturnal traffic edging past your sleepy frame as they queue for the only piss-artist undressing room in town. Apparently, there is a Mr Lynch who requires to go rather often and, irritatingly, hums bawdy sea-shanties in the hope of inducing a trickle.
It seems that warbler Anderson was struck down by a secondary infection chest and throat bug in Stuttgart two days ago and sought medical help to get over the problem ASAP. My training in Army nursing and pharmaceutical administration could have come in handy. 250 Mg dosage of Azithromycin would have been my choice - 2 for starters and one a day for four more days. Should be right as rain in two shakes of a raccoon's short and curly.
Probationary appointment this, by all accounts, although dark mutterings have been overheard indicating that other tours may follow. I did a stint in Washington for a year when I was toying with a Foreign Office Diplomat post-army future. Frightful place but rather fun off-duty if you knew the right (and the wrong) people. So skills in slipping and sliding round the Yankee cousins may prove useful to my wayward musical herd of sheep on the frantic field of battle. Johnny Foreigner beware! Bostock will lead, marshall, rally and charge at the head of the Prog-Rock battalion with young Lieutenant Biggles in close support.
Talk soon, dear reader. Off to pack now. Must get an iPad. And bloody ear-plugs.
Fat Bostock kisses to you.
PS: Anyone have an email address for Tufty Parritt at Cruddock Hall? I need to send a formal objection to his planning
app for another (so he says) stable block. We all know he really wants to build a Turkish Bath and Solarium in the grounds and operate it for profit. Damned woman Oona what's-she-called seems to be involved too, so where will it all end? Nothing against a bit of hirsute nudity and soapy frolics, but a step too far for sleepy St Cleve, in my humble opinion.
Humble's the word; Bostock's the name.
GB
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jtul07
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #2 on Jun 12, 2012, 10:08am » | |
June 5, 2012
The Bostock Diaries
GB TAKES TO THE ROAD! Part 2
Latest news from the lyric writer of the original "Thick as a Brick"
GB here, with a note from the Front.
Well - I found my designated bunk on the tour bus. Corporal Micky Downs showed me to my well-equipped cocoon like a beaming front-desk manager at the Ritz-Carlton Towers and Suites. At this point, all notions of 5-star accommodation vanished in a puff of stale diesel smoke. A tad on the small and cosy side, O bunk of my dreams. And, being a bottom bunk, it necessitates a delicate Pilates floor-exercise contortion to slide crab-like into the coffin of nocturnal delight. Marginally better than a top bunk. Which I see all too easily would result in a wobbling, hirsute arse hanging out for all to see, fondle or worse, while its better half attempts the scaling of the Eiger, legs flapping and scrabbling in vain at the slippery summit slope.....
Mr Downs has, of course, long since allocated himself a middle bunk. Access a doddle. Simple sit, turn and roll into the heavenly arms of darkened privacy. A quick flick of curtain and Bob's your uncle. Personal video screen on. A/C summoned to sooth and tenderise. Job done. Fait accompli.
Day one was not too bad from a professional point of view. Discussions with the bus driver as to the best night route from Berlin to Mainz. Details to absorb regarding bus-party names, day-off hotel room requirements, near elevator, far from elevator, smoking, non-smoking, facing street, facing back parking lot, internet access, breakfast times, early check-in, wake-up calls, etc.
Etc.
BUT - then the serious stuff: preferences for seats on flights, check-in baggage rules, carry-on baggage rules, excess baggage rates, carnets, visas, vaccinations, insurances, bank transfers, withholding tax agreements. And so on. None of this was mentioned when I agreed to tag along. I assumed, in my smug ignorance, that this was a verging-on-senior part-time travel jolly. Occasional nursemaid to the frail and sensitive arts and entertainment types. Not on that nellie of yours. Tour Manager is the catch-all job designation for the poor unfortunate who has, one minute, to nurse the wounded and tearful ego of guitar Rock God discouraged from a quick fag break by a 4-foot sign saying NO SMOKING WITHIN 10 METRES OF PUBLIC AREA, and the next minute, attend to the careful negotiation of electronic bank transfer informed by gentle interpretation and manipulation of International Currency Exchange Rates.
If something needs doing, refer to The Tour Manager, it seems. In at the deep end. No buoyancy float or inflatable arm bands. Sink or swim in the shark-infested waters of The Rock And Roll Tour.
The Production Manager is Christopher Archer. A decent enough, blunt Yorkshireman who doubtless will vote Labour at the next election with only a modicum of persuasion from me. He works on the not-unreasonable principle that "less is more" regarding discipline and the management of the technical and other issues day to day. Fair enough, since everyone seems to have an innate understanding of tour bus and backstage protocols and an odd professionalism which belies their shabby dress and occasional bad manners.
The 09.00-sharp frantic load-in and reccy of the backstage at a new venue means all forces are mustered and take on their separate functions like a well-oiled sprocket. PA and Lighting crews direct and cajole a small army of local stage drew. "Humpers" as they are occasionally and disparagingly called. Most of them on bigger wages than I, most likely.
Front Of House (love that expression) Sound Engineer Downs and Mark "Taz" Wheatley, the Lighting Director (LD in A&E parlance) grudgingly accept or firmly re-negotiate the sound and lighting mixer positions at the back of the downstairs audience seats where they will, a few hours later, rule over the carefully deployed and sound-check-tested technology like Field Commanders in theatre of war.
Gaffer-taped laminated notices oozing boldly-lettered names like Tull Production Office, Local Production Office, Band Only, and the mysterious picture symbols for the band dressing rooms are stuck to the appropriate rooms (remembering the priority for Mr A's expressed need to be close to Stage Left access wherever possible and to have a private lavatory for his doubtless exquisitely-formed bowel movements.
Internet access codes to post. Laptops, printers, battery chargers, walkie-talkie radio comms, and spent coffe cups adorn the temporary office home where we will all work for the next few hours until load-out after the show. All a-bustle back-stage for 14 hours, apart from the oddly detached, desolate Production Office calm while the band are actually performing.
The weird thing is that Mr A himself seems strangely removed from all of this, preferring, where possible, to travel alone and manage his own tour requirements. He actually books all the flights himself, I am told, and plans the tours in detail with his son and agent James. He eats lunch alone, in deserted ethnic restaurants and is never seen in the catering room at band and crew dinnertime immediately following soundcheck when the band and crew vultures descend on the freebie catering food.
There are suggestions that I might have to rent a car and drive him on some journeys but local promoters will hopefully take care of that. His wife, Shona, drives on the US tours and does all the daily tour accounting on the road. Scary woman by all accounts. Bumped into her once (literally) in the Waitrose car park at Clutterbury Retail Park. Trolleys locked in mortal combat in the fruit and veggie aisle. Admonishing me with a cluster of fresh asparagus, she trundled off muttering something about "stupid old men shopping alone...." while shaking a mane of dark hair in apparent disapproval. I - who have had to defer on many occasion to Madame Speaker - had to swallow this bitter pill of emasculation and retreat to the men's toiletries aisle to nurse my wounds. Again, all-too-literally, as her trolley had damned near taken my thumbnail off at the root. Scary woman....
So, really, I am engaged in helping with the affairs of the many-too-many rather than the maintenance and well-being of the one-and-only Mr A, the mysterious. He, the-cat-who-walks-alone, prefers to arrive quietly on foot at the backstage entrance at around 16.00 and depart the same way after the show is done, usually slipping alone into the night down carefully researched short-cut routes to his hotel. Dressed in the same drab garb of the forever-student, back-pack adorned with flute bag on shoulder and furrow-browed, he could be easily mistaken for one of his own fans, perhaps. Suits me just fine as I barely know him anyway. But I received both cheery wave and friendly clap on the upper arm by way of recognition when I arrived in Berlin on Sunday. Hardly seen the bugger since but I have my work cut out anyway in learning the ways of the wicked in backstage suburbia. Must badger him regarding the hosting of the local Labour Supporters' Summer Barbecue. Fat chance if the Waitrose Dragon gets her say. Reads the Daily Mail, apparently, and does the crossword in 12.3 nanoseconds. Draws moustaches on the faces of well-heeled footballers and Labour politicians too, I'll bet. Prof Stewart Wood - now Lord Wood Of Anfield - is a chief advisor to Ed Miliband and speaks well of her in private. Unlikely attractions of opposites, if you ask me. Unless, of course, young Woodsy is a master-spy and closet-Tory. Quite possible, now I think of it. Whoops - have I blown his cover?
And no - I can't tell you what the mysterious band dressing rooms sign are. They don't want their names on the doors as it is a give-away to autograph seekers, trainee masseuses, visiting tax inspectors, wandering trainee Tour Managers or whatever.
Oh, well: lights out in the bus-coffin now and will post this in the morning. If it ever comes. I wonder what heady delights Aurich will bring? All band and crew in a hotel for a night off there. Might pal-up with Goodier and O'Hara. About my age and civilised gents. Relatively-speaking. Nighty-night. Snoozle-oooooh.
GB signing off.
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz.
Oh f***k and botheration: forgot to pee first.
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TM
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #3 on Jun 12, 2012, 10:45am » | |
Thank you Jim, yes those are them. Do you enjoy reading it?
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jtul07
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #4 on Jun 12, 2012, 12:16pm » | |
Jun 12, 2012, 10:45am, TM wrote:| Thank you Jim, yes those are them. Do you enjoy reading it? |
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I like reading this as much as hearing new lyrics!  Thanks for the heads up Paul. 
 Thanks to Gerald (Ian) for taking the time to keep us up to date and entertained.
 ![[image]](http://i599.photobucket.com/albums/tt78/jtull2008/20120523215049_florian20opahle1red427x640.jpg "[image]")
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #5 on Jun 12, 2012, 1:25pm » | |
Well like I said I expect to be in the minority, but then no one had brought it up so it made me wonder.
And it makes me wonder what's up with Ian with all this and interviewing himself while hopping back and forth in different chairs....
 
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #6 on Jun 12, 2012, 3:03pm » | |
Jun 12, 2012, 1:25pm, TM wrote:Well like I said I expect to be in the minority, but then no one had brought it up so it made me wonder.
And it makes me wonder what's up with Ian with all this and interviewing himself while hopping back and forth in different chairs....
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Hopefully it's demonstrating a new found interest in the overall product from Ian, if it aids his 'new creativity' then fine, but I think some of the schoolboy humour is a bit too schoolboy. I read it, but some humour is sometimes time limited, and more often I find that more prevelent in the written form. How many people go back and re-read those awful 'humour' books you get given as gifts at Christmas by Aunty Flo?
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #7 on Jun 12, 2012, 3:28pm » | |
Jun 12, 2012, 3:03pm, Quizz Kid wrote:
Jun 12, 2012, 1:25pm, TM wrote:Well like I said I expect to be in the minority, but then no one had brought it up so it made me wonder.
And it makes me wonder what's up with Ian with all this and interviewing himself while hopping back and forth in different chairs....
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Hopefully it's demonstrating a new found interest in the overall product from Ian, if it aids his 'new creativity' then fine, but I think some of the schoolboy humour is a bit too schoolboy. I read it, but some humour is sometimes time limited, and more often I find that more prevelent in the written form. How many people go back and re-read those awful 'humour' books you get given as gifts at Christmas by Aunty Flo? |
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The whole prog thing has certainly set off a spark so to that extent I'm very happy. Maybe it's the schoolboy thing as you mention and maybe it's also the colloquialisms.
Too bad we didn't have Google back in 1972. You never know, I might have been all over it.
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jtul07
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #8 on Jun 12, 2012, 9:06pm » | |
Gerald's Blog is great!
We all need to have fun and not worry who thinks it seems silly and not cool.
Thanks to Ian Anderson, we've all had fun singing along to songs that are
totally different from other rock groups.
I enjoy all the stories and crazy things he does because Ian is a prankster at heart.
"Thick as a Brick" proved it in 1972, TAAB 2 does it again in 2012.
.......![[image]](http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/5138/20120523214940ian20ande.jpg "[image]")
What other groups throw out balloons during the encore? Keep it coming Ian!
If you don't like reading this stuff, you are getting too old to ROCK !
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #9 on Jun 14, 2012, 3:00pm » | |
I really enjoy reading Geralds Blog, its a treat!
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jtul07
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #10 on Jun 19, 2012, 12:08pm » | |
June 17, 2012
Other Entries....May 28th, June 5th
The Bostock Diaries
GB TAKES TO THE ROAD! Part 3
Latest news from the lyric writer of the original "Thick as a Brick"
Well, back to Blighty and the festivities of the Queenly sort. Big three days of public holiday as Royalists and Republicans alike shared in the national Jubilee celebrations and were, for a moment, proud to be British. All went off with formal aplomb and raucous street charm in equal measure.
Reflecting on the last fortnight, I think that my first trip as tour manager went rather well, on the whole. Sights to see, things to learn and new friends a-plenty.
Tom Lynch, for instance, is decent man. Ruddy, full of bluster but a contemplative, solitary figure on occasion.
I think that's what I rather like about these people: they all have the ability to be gregarious and supportive for several hours in the working day and then surrender to that innate sense of just when to turn off and seek the privacy so necessary to good mental and spiritual health. Whether sloping off to the dark and sometimes dirty seclusion of dressing room, the hastily erected private space of a quiet backstage corner or even back for a quiet spell in the tour bus.
Anderson, himself, is a master of this art. Seldom seen except during soundcheck and the actual concert, he remains in isolation in his dressing room – usually one as close to the stage as possible since there are instruments to carry back and forth. He ventures as far as catering to peruse the humble offerings of the local caterers and choose a tasty morsel for his solitary delight back at his hotel room after the show. He doesn't eat before the show as all the others do and so returns to dressing room alone. Dinner time is usually sharp at 18.00 hours - every talks here in military time – and as soon as soundcheck is over, the catering room is full within a few minutes. Sometimes with local crew too who sit in self-imposed segregation and are occasionally noisy, rude and behave like starved gannets gorging on a bucket of sardines.
There are usually some vegetarian options but they are either left untouched or, strangely, consumed quickly by the one or two veggie-eaters amongst the ensemble. Anderson has been known to express annoyance when the vegetarian option has vanished before he arrives on the scene. He eats meat sometimes but typically opts for fish and/or veg. Apparently, in days gone by, there were three or four strict vegetarians in the band or crew and they would recoil at the generous portions of heavy red meats and could be quite testy if meats were found to have contaminated the vegetables with a carelessly shared serving spoon. Understandable, perhaps but the occasional cause of impure thoughts and words.
The engaging young Ryan O'Donnell is finding his feat, both on and off stage, and settling in nicely. The audience seem to really like him and he has the theatrical skills to carry off a difficult task. Somewhere between acolyte and anderson's younger self, he manages the trick of being his own man while mimicking the ancient master and taking on the odd vocal line or prancing step. He has some set pieces to sing on his own while Anderson plays the flute motifs and interludes and they trade story-line character in other parts. It certainly brings alive the parts of the arrangements of the original Thick album impossible to recreate without the extra stage presence of the new boy.
There was a definite mood-swing towards more relaxed and confident performance in the two short weeks I was tagging along with them. Having safely got the first UK tour behind them with its inevitable shaking-down period of technical and artistic evolution, there is now an odd mixture of comforting routine in the air which seem to allow (I don't entirely understand these musicianly processes) for the more improvisational elements to shine and develop. A few little changes to the show are added each day or two and the detail sparkles.
I await the call to arms from someone on high – maybe Mr A himself – to announce the requirement or otherwise of my services for the next bout of touring. I am not, it seems, needed for the brief appearance in Italy this week when they are doing a festival TV appearance. But Iceland sounds fascinating. Never been there before so it might be a real treat. And then on to the Montreux Jazz Festival and some shows in the Czech Rep. And Austria.
The concert promoters usually provide a local tour manager or minder for the band and a technical Production Manager to work with the IA crew but having the savvy GB along might just smooth things further given my abundance of tact, oily charm and the wily stealth of the seasoned campaigner who needs to get things done and done NOW!
I wonder if I shall be asked to procure a tart or some evil-smelling drugs? Or gruesome porn for the tour bus? Apparently, these sorts of duties are not entirely uncommon for Rock Band Tour Managers but so far, no luck, in my case.... Maybe there will be surprises just around the corner but I fear that, if there are, they will be to organise a museum trip or entrance to a lofty medieval cathedral. Some rumour even went the rounds last week suggesting a fishing trip in Iceland. What next? A dominoes championship? Embroidery classes? Whale-watching? A visit to the Puffin Appreciation Society Annual Lunch Barbecue in Reykjavik? What ever happened to Rock and Roll? Eat whale meat, I say! Stab a dominoes opponent with an embroidery needle. Punch the lights out on a puffin.
But then, what can you expect from the quaint culture surrounding a tights-wearing old man who plays a flute in a Rock band?
Hey, ho. Better get the laundry done and take the wife out to a Sunday pub lunch. The Dirty Duck has a new supplier of fresh farmed donkey and it is exceedingly lean, succulent and truly scrumptious, 'tis said. The old bag will probably have the prawn cocktail as usual and after dithering for an hour choose the sirloin steak steak, well done, with a little English mustard on the side. B****cks.
Over and out. GB signing off.
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TM
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #11 on Jun 19, 2012, 1:27pm » | |
I have to say I did get a kick out of this one.
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jtul07
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #12 on Jun 19, 2012, 2:03pm » | |
Jun 19, 2012, 1:27pm, TM wrote:| I have to say I did get a kick out of this one. |
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When you read this, could you imagine Ian's voice?
I think he is having a ball on this tour and is showing how much fun it is.
![[image]](http://i599.photobucket.com/albums/tt78/jtull2008/7403056488_632f71b8dc.jpg "[image]")
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TM
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #13 on Jun 19, 2012, 4:18pm » | |
Jun 19, 2012, 2:03pm, jtul07 wrote:
Jun 19, 2012, 1:27pm, TM wrote:| I have to say I did get a kick out of this one. |
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When you read this, could you imagine Ian's voice?
I think he is having a ball on this tour and is showing how much fun it is.
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No doubt!
And just imagine how much more fun he'd be having if he were playing with Martin and Doane!
 ![[image]](http://www.animated-gifs.eu/leisure-cinema-jim-carrey/0004.gif "[image]")
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jtul07
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #14 on Jun 19, 2012, 4:44pm » | |
Jun 19, 2012, 4:18pm, TM wrote:No doubt!
And just imagine how much more fun he'd be having if he were playing with Martin and Doane!
![[image]](http://i599.photobucket.com/albums/tt78/jtull2008/16.gif "[image]") |
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Let's have Ian and His Chums with Martin Barre's New Day together every night.
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| | Re: Gerald's Blog
« Reply #16 on Jul 11, 2012, 8:02pm » | |
July 10, 2012
Previous Entries May 28th/ June 5th / June 17th
The Bostock Diaries
GB TAKES TO THE ROAD! Part 4 - To Iceland
Latest news from the lyric writer of the original "Thick as a Brick"
note: previous posting was missing two pages. Gerald getting senile
Iceland was rather splendid. A full three nights to enjoy the land of midnight sun. The weather - far from the much-touted promise of rain, wind and misery - turned out nice again. As George Formby used to say. Sun shone most of the time - even out of Mr A's arse - and there were only one or two showers which stopped as quickly as they began.
Anderson has been there before, of course. This was his 7th Icelandic concert, so I was told just before the first of two shows in the shiny new concert hall by the harbour in Reykjavik, only completed in the last few months. A proper Classical venue in a glass-covered structure, it is a fine example of modern construction technique allied to traditional interior materials and acoustic values. A teensy bit lively for raucous rock music perhaps but I'll bet the local orchestra love it.
Might go there again sometime with the old bag and absorb some serious kulcha. And even a few rays, if we get lucky. I might arrange a whale watching trip and see if whales can be persuaded to tastier morsels than plankton and krill. Thigh of bag or a rump fat wifely fillet, perhaps? Hell they can just have the whole thing if I can tip her over the side without anyone watching. Cripes - better be careful. She might read this, although computers and media technology are not her forte. A wheelbarrow, long-handled Dutch hoe and olive green gardening gloves don't chime well with the subtle delights of Facebook and YouTube.
The shows went quite well from where I sat although Mr A is never satisfied and always feels he can do better. Technical issues bother him the most. But luckily, all the audio-visual bits seemed to run on cue, after |
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Love the blog as well.