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Post by Nonfatman on Mar 2, 2010 0:50:11 GMT -5
How, you may ask, could there possibly be any connection between Avril Lavigne's snatch and Jethro Tull??? Well there is. ;D Indirectly, anyway. Turns out that singer/songwriter Nick Cave (of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds) recently wrote a book entitled The Death of Bunny Munro, about a sex-obsessed door-to-door salesman who constantly fantasizes about Avril Lavigne's and Kylie Minogue's respective vaginas. Avril's was referred to over a dozen times in the book! When Nick learned that his band was going to win Album of the Year at a recent Mojo Awards ceremony, he requested that Avril present the award, but was told by the promoters that she "wasn't a Mojo type of act" so Nick, who happens to be a huge Tull fan, requested and got Ian Anderson instead! Now, I'm wondering if Ian knew the circumstances and made any comment on Nick's book, because if he did know, then I'm sure he couldn't resist! Oh, and it just so happens that Vaginal Liver is an anagram of Avril Lavigne! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- See article in Gone Hollywood entitled 'Avril Lavigne's Crotch Inspires Book'. gone-hollywood.com/2009/09/avril-lavignes-crotch-inspires-book/ Review of Nick Cave's Book in Goodreads, with great readers' comments: www.goodreads.com/book/show/6389257-the-death-of-bunny-munroPhotos of an apparently drunk Avril flashing her panties in a limo: thesuperficial.com/2006/10/avril_lavigne_gets_drunk_and_f.htmlPhoto of Ian presenting Mojo award to Nick: www.mojo4music.com/blog/2008/06/nick_cave_ian_anderson_the_bre.htmlJeff |
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Post by griffis on Mar 2, 2010 1:36:41 GMT -5
;D
Oh man, this thread had me laffin' out loud.
Didn't know Nick Cave was a Tull fan, but that's really cool info. I've been a Cave fan for many years, though I was more into his work with his old band The Birthday Party than his solo stuff. He does have a couple of stellar solo albums though ("Your Funeral, My Trial" is my fave.)
But the "vaginal liver" anagram--that's priceless! Sounds like it could have been the name of one of the hundred punk bands I might have played with back in the day.
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Post by TM on Mar 2, 2010 14:12:04 GMT -5
Okay, ladies and gentlemen I'd like you to know I'm now taking orders on my new line of panties.   |
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Post by Nonfatman on Mar 3, 2010 0:53:13 GMT -5
Okay, ladies and gentlemen I'd like you to know I'm now taking orders on my new line of panties. Paul, when I saw this latest handiwork of yours, I nearly fell off my chair laughing.  It should definitely be part of this year's tour merchandise, don't you think? You must contact Chester Hopkins immediately! Jeff |
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Post by TM on Mar 3, 2010 10:11:20 GMT -5
Okay, ladies and gentlemen I'd like you to know I'm now taking orders on my new line of panties. Paul, when I saw this latest handiwork of yours, I nearly fell off my chair laughing. It should definitely be part of this year's tour merchandise, don't you think? You must contact Chester Hopkins immediately! Jeff You mean you want me to put tour dates on the back of this thong? I don't know Jeff. The tours haven't gotten smaller over the years...but what the hell, I'm willing to give it a try! But what should we name this article of clothing? |
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Post by Nonfatman on Mar 3, 2010 10:19:49 GMT -5
Paul, when I saw this latest handiwork of yours, I nearly fell off my chair laughing. It should definitely be part of this year's tour merchandise, don't you think? You must contact Chester Hopkins immediately! Jeff You mean you want me to put tour dates on the back of this thong? I don't know Jeff. The tours haven't gotten smaller over the years...but what the hell, I'm willing to give it a try! But what should we name this article of clothing? That's a great contest idea! So, okay folks, we're open for business here on The Jethro Tull Board  , so let's see who can come up with the best name for Paul's panty creation. Anyone want to take a crack? (pun fully intended ;D) Jeff |
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Post by Nonfatman on May 18, 2010 11:58:56 GMT -5
Avril on Mad TV:
Jeff
P.S. I want the "pant-ians" back in this thread!
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Post by TM on May 18, 2010 12:42:15 GMT -5
 They're back! But who knows how long?  |
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Post by LJG on May 19, 2010 7:47:40 GMT -5
Can't see the pic either... but I will say I'm pleasantly surprised Nick is a Tull fan. I love Nick Cave so this is nice to learn.
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Post by Nonfatman on May 22, 2010 16:23:27 GMT -5
It seems from this news item that the name of Avril's new perfume, Forbidden Rose, is slang for a certain part of the female anatomy. And moreover, the top of the perfume bottle is shaped like a little purple, shall we say, "rosebud." blog.reelloop.com/9306/celeb/avril-lavignes-perfume-sounds-slang-vagina/Avril, however, denies any knowledge. It never occurred to her, she says.  So here it is. Do you believe her?  Far be it from Avril Lavigne to use sex to sell something. Jeff  |
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Post by Nonfatman on Jun 27, 2010 17:58:31 GMT -5
For our members who are new to the board and have not yet discovered this thread, you may be wondering how there possibly could be any nexus between Avril Lavigne's twat and Tull. You can take a look back and read through the thread for a full explanation, but here is a brief summary. Nick Cave of the Bad Seeds recently wrote a novel called The Death of Bunny Munro, about the relationship of a philandering, dissolute door-to-door beauty products salesman and his nine year-old son. In the book, the sex-obsessed Bunny constantly fantasizes about celebrities, mostly Avril Lavigne (whose vagina is mentioned 12 times throughout the story), but also Kylie Minogue (her muff is mentioned several times) and Beyonce, Brittany Spears and Kate Moss, whose vaginas are spared, but not their bodies. Anyway, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds latest album recently won Mojo Magazine's "Album of the Year" and Nick requested that Avril Lavigne be invited to present him with the award. However, he was duly informed that since Avril did not fit with the demographics of Mojo's readership, he should choose another presenter. Since he is a great admirer of Tull, he selected Ian Andesron instead. I am sure that Ian must have been greatly amused by this! Anyway, here is Nick's book, which I recently read. I don't want to give the story away, but it is a hilarious dark comedy with unbelieveably graphic descriptions of sex acts, which in the end is quite touching and sad. It's a quick and very entertaining read, "pure punk poetry" in the words of one critic, and highly recommended by me!  Speaking of Avril Lavigne's vagina, Nick was quoted as follows by gonehollywood.com: “I wanted to talk to her about it, actually, at the Mojo Awards we got album of the year and they wanted to know who we wanted to present the award. I said Avril Lavigne and they said that she wasn’t a ‘Mojo type of act’, so we got Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull instead. But I would have raised the subject then. I hope she takes it with a sense of humour, but I do appreciate that it is kind of dark. I actually do like Avril Lavigne very much and I don’t want to disrespect her.” gone-hollywood.com/2009/09/avril-lavignes-crotch-inspires-book/ At the end of the book, there is an acknowlegement which reads "I would also like to thank Kylie Minogue and Avril Lavigne with love, respect and apologies." Jeff |
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Post by Nonfatman on Jun 27, 2010 18:28:45 GMT -5
Now here comes the kicker, because we at The Jethro Tull Board never do anything half-assed!
Nick Cave has given readings of several extracts of his book, including Chapter 16, below, which contains one of the many fantasies that Bunny has about Avril's vagina, at 4:35 - 4:40. During this part of the story, Bunny becomes distracted while paying a sales call on Pamela Stokes, whom he understands from a fellow beauty products salesman, is hot to trot.
The excerpt containing the vagina reference is from page 139, within a paragraph that goes like this, starting at the 3:43 minute mark of the video:
"Well, Pamela, this rich hydrating, age-targeting lotion softens the skin and exfoliates surface cells for a smoother....." Pamela reaches under her skirt and with a subtle upward shift of her hips slips off her panties. They are as white and blank as a snowflake.
"....Um....younger look. It is formulated with a relaxing fragrance..."
Pamela hitches up her skirt and opens her legs.
"....that inspires feelings of....comfort and...calm," says Bunny and he notices a sculpted domino of black fuzz balanced on top of her gash like a pirate flag or a Jolly Roger or something. He closes his eyes for a moment and imagines Avril Lavigne's vagina and tears run down his cheeks.'
Jeff
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Post by Nonfatman on Jun 27, 2010 18:47:11 GMT -5
If you are reviewing this thread, as I hope you are doing if you want a good laugh, you may have noticed that the "pant-ians" which Paul designed especially for the thread, and for the recent Tull tour, have been forbidden by Image Shack! We take that as a badge of honor, but fear not, because for some reason Paul's "pant-ians" can still be viewed here! : thejethrotullboard.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=newmembers&thread=905&page=1#5210And, recently, I suggested certain refinements, to smooth out the feminine nether regions, so as to avoid any potential embarrasment, here: thejethrotullboard.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=newmembers&thread=905&page=1#6902Jeff  |
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Post by TM on Jun 27, 2010 22:01:25 GMT -5
If you are reviewing this thread, as I hope you are doing if you want a good laugh, you may have noticed that the "pant-ians" which Paul designed especially for the thread, and for the recent Tull tour, have been forbidden by Image Shack! We take that as a badge of honor, but fear not, because for some reason Paul's "pant-ians" can still be viewed here! : thejethrotullboard.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=newmembers&thread=905&page=1#5210And, recently, I suggested certain refinements, to smooth out the feminine nether regions, so as to avoid any potential embarrasment, here: thejethrotullboard.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=newmembers&thread=905&page=1#6902Jeff  ;D |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2010 0:28:12 GMT -5
I didn't know Nick Cave was at all a Tull fan. Or so creepy.
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Post by Nonfatman on Jul 13, 2010 11:10:38 GMT -5
I didn't know Nick Cave was at all a Tull fan. Or so creepy. Hi, KB. Cave's book, The Death of Bunny Munro, is quite graphic and creepy but in a darkly humorous way, and in the end it is a moving story about the relationship of a philandering father and his son. It is acquiring cult status, and it's a quick and fun read. Jeff |
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Post by Geoff CB on Jul 17, 2010 8:26:17 GMT -5
Funny you mention Nick Cave, as today I dug out an old compilation record from 1978 called "Lethal Weapons" which features 3 songs from "The Boys Next Door", Nick's first band.
Geoff B
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Post by Nonfatman on Jul 18, 2010 6:30:34 GMT -5
This from a blog called 'I Eat Music' by a guy named Andy Malt: Cave apologises to Minogue and Lavigne by andy on Oct.14, 2009, under Books, Music, News Nick Cave has apologised to Kylie Minogue and Avril Lavigne for including them in his new book, ‘The Death Of Bunny Munro’. The book’s titular lead character is obsessed with the two singers, and in particular Avril Lavigne’s vagina.
Cave told BBC 6music: “I would like to publicly apologise to both of them, especially Avril Lavigne. Because the writing about her is darker and more invasive I guess. I know Kylie and at least, I hope, she will take it in the spirit it was written. At the time that the book was set, which was about eight years ago, or seven years ago, Kylie Minogue and her hot pants were all the tabloids wrote about in this country”.
In a recent iTunes ‘Meet The Author’ podcast, Cave said on the same issue: “I’m slightly worried about touring America, to be honest. … The whole book revolves around Avril Lavigne’s vagina. And it’s not a happy book. But I just keep thinking that if Avril Lavigne wrote a book about my dick, I wouldn’t mind”.www.andymalt.com/tag/avril-lavigne/Jeff |
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Post by Nonfatman on Dec 15, 2010 22:44:09 GMT -5
I didn't know Nick Cave was at all a Tull fan. Or so creepy. Creepy, or very cool? You decide! Jeff |
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Post by Trainspotter on Dec 16, 2010 2:34:00 GMT -5
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It should definitely be part of this year's tour merchandise, don't you think? You must contact Chester Hopkins immediately!
, so let's see who can come up with the best name for Paul's panty creation. Anyone want to take a crack? (pun fully intended ;D)
;D
