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Post by Nonfatman on Sept 16, 2009 10:46:32 GMT -5
Over the years I have heard Ian make loads of lewd jokes, especially during the two Rubbing Elbows shows that I saw, but this has been a staple of Tull shows for as long as I have been seeing them. Do you remember any that you would like to relate here? I remember a funny one that Ian made about Rod Stewart at the Catfish tour in Nassau Coliseum, which I related as part of a much longer story on that OTHER board.
Jeff
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Post by TM on Sept 16, 2009 14:31:51 GMT -5
Ian's story about Barrie wearing the kilt in 1977 is a classic!
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Bwanabob
One of the Youngest of the Family
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Post by Bwanabob on Dec 11, 2009 12:42:07 GMT -5
Ian's story about Barrie wearing the kilt in 1977 is a classic! Agreed - this was never topped. |
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Post by bobo the monkey on Dec 11, 2009 15:10:54 GMT -5
The clasic nasty joke was the one from SFTW tour...he looked under Barrie's kilt---it was gruesome...and then it grew some more.
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Post by Nonfatman on Aug 31, 2010 11:49:08 GMT -5
I have read that, during one of the tours in the early seventies, Ian made a joke about Martin taking a woman back to his hotel room and starting to remove his clothes. But when he took off his pants, the woman sneered and said, "Just who do you plan to satisfy with that?" and Martin replied "Myself, Madam, Myself."
Does anyone know which tour that was?
Jeff
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Post by Campion on Aug 31, 2010 13:29:09 GMT -5
I have read that, during one of the tours in the early seventies, Ian made a joke about Martin taking a woman back to his hotel room and starting to remove his clothes. But when he took off his pants, the woman sneered and said, "Just who do you plan to satisfy with that?" and Martin replied "Myself, Madam, Myself." Does anyone know which tour that was? Jeff Around Heavy Horses. I heard the same joke in Boston. It went something like this: "Last night Martin met a woman and was immediately enamoured of her and she likewise of him. They raced to the nearest available bedchamber where, after a minimum of foreplay they had completely ripped off each other's clothes. Now Martin..., Martin, you see, is possessed of a very... small... bobo.... This woman took one look at his bobo and said, 'Why, who do you expect to satisfy with THAT, sir?' Martin looked down, then back at her, and said, 'Why, meself, madam!'" |
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Post by Nonfatman on Aug 31, 2010 16:15:29 GMT -5
I have read that, during one of the tours in the early seventies, Ian made a joke about Martin taking a woman back to his hotel room and starting to remove his clothes. But when he took off his pants, the woman sneered and said, "Just who do you plan to satisfy with that?" and Martin replied "Myself, Madam, Myself." Does anyone know which tour that was? Jeff Around Heavy Horses. I heard the same joke in Boston. It went something like this: "Last night Martin met a woman and was immediately enamoured of her and she likewise of him. They raced to the nearest available bedchamber where, after a minimum of foreplay they had completely ripped off each other's clothes. Now Martin..., Martin, you see, is possessed of a very... small... bobo.... This woman took one look at his bobo and said, 'Why, who do you expect to satisfy with THAT, sir?' Martin looked down, then back at her, and said, 'Why, meself, madam!'" Thanks, Campion, I saw that tour but do not remember the joke. Very funny stuff. Drop by more often if you can! Jeff |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2010 7:12:15 GMT -5
I remember that joke, I cant recall the tour, but it was classic...I will have to play some concerts in the next few days and get back to post
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2010 7:12:48 GMT -5
John Glasscock as old brittle dick not really a joke , but Ian introduction to Hunting Girl
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Post by My God on Sept 1, 2010 8:22:16 GMT -5
I think it was the Heavy Horses tour.  All must be warned about this high born hunting girl. |
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Post by Nonfatman on Sept 3, 2010 10:46:46 GMT -5
Okay, so to recap, Ian has made jokes about Martin's, John Glascock's and Barriemore's wee-wees being respectively small, brittle and gruesome, and I'm pretty sure that he joked about David Palmer's being lopped-off, as well. Are there any others? Surely Maart could not have escaped.
This can be some kind of contest, find all of Ian's band "members" jokes. But what would the prize be?
Jeff
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Post by Mothfairy on Sept 3, 2010 21:44:23 GMT -5
Oh...I think IA made a joke backstage when I met him and I just cannot. recall. I think I didn't even "get it" and Ryan had to explain it to me....if anyone else remembers what it was, let me know...crap...I have to try to meditate over this...haha
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SilverHamer
Claghornist
Bring Me My Broadsword!
Posts: 40
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Post by SilverHamer on Sept 10, 2010 16:41:25 GMT -5
Back in about 2004 Ian had an article on the official Tull website about a woman, Cynthia Plaster Caster, who had immortalized the male members of various mainstream rock stars by making plaster castings of them...including that of Jimi Hendrix. www.cynthiaplastercaster.com/index.htmlI don't see any mention of any members of Tull on her list of accomplishments though...hehe. |
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Post by tlittle on Feb 7, 2011 16:33:52 GMT -5
Warchild tour early 75. The zebra comes out and turns its butt to the audience whereupon three rubber balls pop out. Jeffrrey picks them aud and starts juggling them. Ian says " Jagger has his funny lips, Elton has his funny hair, and Bowie doesn't know which way to turn. Never let it be said that Tull doesn't have their shit together..."
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Post by Nonfatman on Feb 7, 2011 23:22:11 GMT -5
Warchild tour early 75. The zebra comes out and turns its butt to the audience whereupon three rubber balls pop out. Jeffrrey picks them aud and starts juggling them. Ian says " Jagger has his funny lips, Elton has his funny hair, and Bowie doesn't know which way to turn. Never let it be said that Tull doesn't have their shit together..."  Welcome, tlittle, and thanks for adding that classic to our thread! I was not yet old enough to attend Tull shows then, but I do remember that joke from somewhere, perhaps I read about it before, but I didn't remember it until you just cited it. Anyway, we're glad to have you here and look forward to chatting with you here on The Jethro Tull Board. We like to do humor that is in keeping with the Tull spirit, so you will come across quite a bit of similar material here.  Jeff |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2011 1:21:59 GMT -5
Wow there are some great ones here, some that I haven't heard. I have only seen Tull once so I haven't had my proper fill of Ian jokes. When I saw him they were now and then accompanied by a trio of female violinists. Ian said something like "These three empty chairs you see next to us are to be filled with the tight firm buttocks of three young violinists, don't get your hopes up fellas they're all promised--to one man!" To which a small girl in the audience replied with "EWWW!!!" I'm sure his delivery of this joke was much better than the way I recalled it. Not much of a joke, but all I have to contribute |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2011 3:53:36 GMT -5
I have read that, during one of the tours in the early seventies, Ian made a joke about Martin taking a woman back to his hotel room and starting to remove his clothes. But when he took off his pants, the woman sneered and said, "Just who do you plan to satisfy with that?" and Martin replied "Myself, Madam, Myself." Does anyone know which tour that was? Jeff This joke was told on the Warchild Tour, I remember it well Darin Cody |
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jrpipik
Ethnic Piano Accordian-ist
There was a little boy stood on a burning log, rubbing his hands with glee
Posts: 193
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Post by jrpipik on May 7, 2011 7:59:58 GMT -5
I have read that, during one of the tours in the early seventies, Ian made a joke about Martin taking a woman back to his hotel room and starting to remove his clothes. But when he took off his pants, the woman sneered and said, "Just who do you plan to satisfy with that?" and Martin replied "Myself, Madam, Myself." He also told it in an interview in (I think) Rolling Stone, probably about that time. |
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Post by tashksharma on May 23, 2017 8:08:12 GMT -5
There are many ways to make humor. But Gujarati jokes make an additional effect on jokes. Many people are searching for adult jokes. But they didn't get the exact result. I have a hug collection of Adult jokes in Gujarati. For Dirty Jokes in Gujarati, just click the link.
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Stjerky
Ethnic Piano Accordian-ist
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Post by Stjerky on Jun 6, 2017 11:30:46 GMT -5
John Glasscock as old brittle dick not really a joke , but Ian introduction to Hunting Girl "Now to finally lay to rest any ugly rumors that John Glascock Is a kinky beep who likes being thrashed severely across the bum We'll do it only very slightly in the next song. It's dedicated to a young lady very much into the equestrian persuits. It's all about a Hunting Girl, a Hunting Girl, ah, ha." |
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